Knock on Wood

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Click here to read this script in Spanish:  TOCANDO MADERA

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WAITER (no dialogues)




(Liz, Monique, Andrea, Joe, and Scott are eating at a restaurant)


SCOTT:  Thank you guys for celebrating my birthday in my favorite restaurant.  I really appreciate that!.


LIZ:  What a coincidence that today is Friday the 13th., and it also happens to be your birthday!.


MONIQUE:  Why did you have to mention the date!.


ANDREA:   Did you break up with your boyfriend on a Friday the 13th.?.


MONIQUE:  (yelling and knocking three times on the table)  No!.  Knock on wood!.


LIZ:  Don’t stress yourself too much, and don’t yell.   We’re not deaf!.


MONIQUE:  Why shouldn’t I be worried, if today is an unlucky day!.


SCOTT:  It is not!.  Today is my birthday!.


JOE:  The unlucky day is Tuesday the 13th.  Friday the 13th. is a lucky day!.


MONIQUE:  Oh, come on!.  Remember the movie “Friday the 13th.”.  EVERYBODY DIES!.


LIZ:  Not everybody.


MONIQUE:  You didn’t watch the movie!.


SCOTT:  Can someone pass me the salt, please?  (Andrea gives him the salt).  Thanks.


MONIQUE:  (grabs the salt and puts it on the table) What’s the matter with you two!  NEVER EVER pass the salt from hand to hand…if you pass the salt, you pass the sorrow.   You should put it down first, and the other person should take it, and that’s it, just leave the salt on the table.   Do you understand?.  (Andrea and Scott laugh.  Scott takes the salt and sprinkles it all over the food.  Some salt spills over the table) Oh my God!.  (with her index finger she draws a cross over the spilled salt, then she picks up a pinch of salt with her right hand and throws it over her left shoulder).


LIZ:  What are you doing?.


MONIQUE:  When you spill salt, you should draw a cross over the spilled salt, and then you must pick up some salt with your right hand, and throw it over your left shoulder to throw salt in the Devil’s eyes, and to get rid of the bad luck curse.


ANDREA: Oh, that’s scary! .


LIZ:  And what is the bad luck curse?.


MONIQUE:  Our friendship will be broken, so to remove the curse you should do what I just did.


JOE:  How can you believe in all that stuff?.


ANDREA:  It’s so cold in here!.


LIZ:  Put on your sweater.


ANDREA:  I left it in Monique’s car.  (to Monique)  Hey, lend me your car keys, I need to get my sweater.  (Monique opens her purse, takes out the keys and gives them to Andrea.  Andrea takes the keys and suddenly throws them on the table).  Oh my, what is that hairy thing!.


MONIQUE:  (takes the keys)  Oh, that’s my keychain, with the left hind foot of a rabbit that I use as a charm.


ANDREA:  (takes out from her purse a hand sanitizer and puts it on her hands)  I’ll be lucky if I don’t get sick by touching that scary thing!.


SCOTT:  Are you crazy!.  How can you carry a dead animal’s foot?.


MONIQUE:  It’s an amulet to bring good luck, and it also protects me from the evil eye. 


LIZ:  That’s not good luck, the rabbit had four feet and still didn’t have any luck. 


JOE:  (to Monique)  Give me the keys, I’ll go get the sweater.  (Monique gives him the keys, Joe stands up and starts to walk to the door.  Monique stands rapidly and stops him).


MONIQUE:  Come back and sit down!.


JOE:  Why?.  What did I do?.


MONIQUE:  (pushes Joe to his chair and he sits) You started walking with your left foot, and that means you will have a bad day.  (she pulls joe to make him stand) Now, stand up (she takes him by his shoulders and makes him spin)  spin three times, then start walking with your right foot.


LIZ:  (to Monique) Ha, ha, ha, ha, you’re weird!.


JOE:  (he sits) I feel dizzy!.


ANDREA:  (to Joe) Forget the sweater, I’m not cold anymore.


(A waiter approaches with a birthday cake and lit candles. He places the cake over the table, and then he leaves)


SCOTT:  Oh what a nice surprise!.


LIZ: Yummy yummy!.


JOE: Everybody sing!.


LIZ, MONIQUE, ANDREA, JOE: Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday dear Scott, Happy birthday to you!.


(They clap)


ANDREA:  (to Scott) Make a wish and blow out the candles!.


(Scott closes his eyes, then he opens them, blows out the candles but not all candles are blown out. Then Monique stands yelling)   


MONIQUE: No, no, no!  (she opens her purse, takes out a match box, and lights the candles once again) You should blow out the candles in one breath so your wish can come true, then  the smoke from blown out candles will carry your wish to the Heavens!.


SCOTT:  (stands up and makes a signal with his index finger to the waiter) Do you know what Monique?.


MONIQUE:  What?.


SCOTT:  (crossing his middle finger over the top of the index finger of both hands)  I hope you have enough money, because Liz, Andrea, Joe, and I are partying somewhere else…and you’re not invited!


(Andrea, Liz, y Joe stand)


ANDREA:  It seems that our friendship has been broken!.


MONIQUE:  Guys, you can’t do this to me!.


(Andrea, Liz, Joe, and Scott walk to the door)


LIZ:  We just passed you the sorrow, because you will have to pay the check!.


(The waiter approaches the table and gives the check to Monique. Andrea, Liz, Joe, and Scott leave the stage laughing)




Author:  K I D S I N C O



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